Massaman Curry - Potato Curry for St. Patrick’s Day

I’ve been tinkering with this recipe for awhile. Sarah originally concocted a massaman curry one night with a little assistance from me and some taste testing by Ted and Roger. (You can read her blog, and find her recipe, here: https://arwz.com/ssblog/2012/01/15/the-great-no-paste-thai-curry-experiment) The idea was to develop no-paste curry recipes, curries one could just throw together the night-of without having to worry about making an elaborate paste beforehand. Following up on this project was crucial to me because, as I’ve mentioned before, I love curry, and am increasingly becoming too poor to go out to eat as often as I’d like to to eat it.

I liked Sarah’s massaman curry – if you look at her recipe, you’ll see that our versions aren’t too terribly dissimilar – but it just wasn’t … right to me. So I took her recipe and began to tinker. Luckily, massaman curry is Ted’s favorite Thai dish, so he didn’t mind me making it over and over again. Besides my overall urge to get the recipe just to my liking, I also wanted to get another recipe together to share on my friend Mark’s excellent cooking blog, https://cookinwluv.blogspot.com/ - he has a feature there, called Made with Love Mondays, that asks for recipes made from scratch. And this week seemed particularly appropriate: he had asked for Irish recipes, in honor of St. Patrick’s day, and I thought, “Hell, potato curry – what’s more Irish than that?” Ahem.

So without further ado, here is my final No-Paste Thai Massaman Curry recipe. I particularly like this recipe because it requires no fresh ingredients other than what I put into the curry sauce. By this I mean, if I stop at the store to pick up potatoes, a bell pepper, and some chicken thighs on the way home, everything else is something that’s almost guaranteed to be in my house already as a staple.

You’ll need:
Onion, garlic, ginger, dried red peppers, cooking oil, ground galangal, ground cloves, ground cinnamon, ground cardamom, ground nutmeg, whole coconut milk, fish sauce, brown sugar, tamarind paste, ground peanuts (NOT peanut butter), filtered water or broth (chicken or vegetable), potatoes, protein, vegetables, and basmati rice. (I would also advise fresh cilantro, for garnish.)

Step One: In a food processer, process together the following ingredients. (I don’t have an immersion blender, and the transferring of a hot liquid from pot to food processer and back again is too perilous for me, so therefore I do the food processing in advance. But if you don’t even have a food processer, that’s OK, too – just mince the onion and ginger and garlic really finely.)

1 onion
3-4 garlic cloves
2 tbl fresh ginger (If you don’t have fresh ginger around, use 1 tbl of ground ginger in Step Three)
Dried red chilies (I use sanaam chilies, which are small and hot – I use three of them, but this is a matter of taste and pepper quality, so adjust according to your preferences)

The pureed onion, ginger, garlic, and peppers.

Step Two: Sauté this puree in 1-2 tbl of neutral-tasting oil (like canola) until the liquid cooks off.

Step Three: Add to the pan the following spices.

1 tsp dried galangal (A must for at-home Thai cooks – they have it at Penzey’s)
½ tsp ground cloves
½ tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp ground cardamom
Pinch of nutmeg

I always use generous measurements, so more like, “heaping ½ tsp”, etc. Saute for about 30 seconds, until fragrant.

Spices!

Step Four: Add the following to your spicy paste.

1 can of whole coconut milk
6-10 dashes of fish sauce
2 tbl brown sugar
1 tbl tamarind paste
2 tbl ground peanuts (NOT peanut butter – I mean the ground nut paste you can get out of the machine at Whole Foods. If you can’t get this, just crush up some roasted, unsalted peanuts as finely as you can, about 3 tbl worth, and add those.)
1-2 cups filtered water or broth (I use veggie broth, personally)

… plus bite-sized potato chunks and protein. Two things about the potatoes: one, definitely cut them small – for whatever reason, cooking them in this mixture takes forever, MUCH longer than just simmering a potato. If you use large chunks, be prepared to wait upwards of an hour and a half before they’re tender. Two, though I usually leave the peel on my potatoes for the nutrients and fiber it provides, you really should peel your potatoes for this recipe, so that they can absorb as much of the delicious curry sauce as possible; potato flavor sponges, that’s what they are. Also, as to protein, I favor chicken thighs, but that’s your call.

NOT PEANUT BUTTER.

Step Five: Simmer 30-45 minutes, until the potatoes are tender.

Step Six: Add veggies. I like to use chunks of red, yellow, and/or orange bell pepper, but I also think cauliflower would work well in this dish – you’d be better off with a vegetable on the neutral-to-sweet side, I think. Simmer 10-15 minutes.

Step Six: Serve over basmati rice. Garnish with fresh cilantro, if you’ve got it.

Sabrina's Massaman Curry

ETA: thanks to @javelinwarrior for posting this recipe on his blog!
JWsMadeWLuvMondays

The Road to Conquering Curry

I work as a university instructor, which means I’m a contract employee: my workload varies from term to term, and so, therefore, does my paycheck. Last term I was teaching four classes, which meant we had no money problems, but it also meant that I was constantly stressed out and we ate take-out every night we didn’t go to a restaurant for dinner – hardly ideal. This term I’m teaching three classes, which means a few money problems, but significantly better mental health, homecooked meals, and a clean house. I think the latter is preferable to the former overall.

The Initial Food Processing ... Process

At the start of the year, for the sake of thrift and with an eye towards improved health, I vowed that we would eat in at least five nights per week. Once a week I gin my will power up to go to the grocery store and buy really healthy stuff – that way, later in the week, when I definitely don’t have any will power and would totally eat Doritos for dinner, that’s just not an option, ‘cause the food budget’s already been spent on vegetables. So far, we’ve enjoyed a lot of enforced, not-necessarily-wholly-voluntary success in the Thrift and Health categories.

Here’s the trouble, though: besides just getting sick and tired of staying in (which so far there’s no solution for), I’m getting sick and tired of eating the stuff I know how to make. Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m actually a pretty good cook, and with the exception of my precious canned tomatoes, it’s all basically from scratch, mostly because 1) processed food is gross, and 2) it’s also more expensive per ounce usually – seriously, figure out the cost-per of a big pot of homemade soup vs. a can of soup. (Of course, homecooking is a luxury for people who have time, and I realize that; but thanks to my reduced workload this term, I’m blessed with the time to cook.) But what I’m used to cooking is basically American/European stuff, like stews and shepherd’s pie and so forth, and Italian food, like lasagna and pasta sauces and cacciatore. Which is all tasty, but … it’s not curry. I LOVE curry. Indian curry and Thai curry. Love. LOVE! But I don’t really know how to make it, and now, I can’t afford to go out for it all that often.

Sarah faced a similar problem, and solved it by learning to make curries on her own. This seemed a wise course, and unlike baking, cooking doesn’t intimidate me – as I said, it’s something I generally regard myself as being pretty good at. So I figured hell, I’ll just follow Sarah’s lead.

The Sauce Begins to Simmer

About a month ago, Sarah invited me over (along with Ted and Roger to taste test) for a night of Thai curries. She got a big book o’ Thai cooking out of the library and proceeded to, with my interpretive assistance, produce three no-paste Thai curries. (The pastelessness was a matter of working-woman efficiency: Sarah doesn’t have time to waste after a full day of professional dancing!) All three of the curries turned out really good! Not quite Pusadee’s Garden-grade, but very tasty. You can see Sarah’s results in this blog: https://arwz.com/ssblog/2012/01/15/the-great-no-paste-thai-curry-experiment

So, having actually been there for the preparation of these curries, I thought, surely, working off of Sarah’s recipes, I could recreate one of them on my own. So two weeks ago, I set about to make my own …

“SARAH’S NO-PASTE GREEN CURRY

1 or 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 onion, chopped or diced
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 tablespoon ground ginger (or more to taste)
2 green chilies, diced
1/4 teaspoon ground coriander seed
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon ground galangal
zest of 1/2 lemon peel, shredded finely
zest of one lime peel, shredded finely
1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves, chopped
1/4 to 1/3 cup fresh basil leaves, chopped
1 tablespoon brown sugar
several dashes of fish sauce
1 (13-15 oz) can coconut milk
your choice of meat cubed, mixed vegetables or other protein

Sauté onion, garlic, ginger and chilies in vegetable oil for a few minutes. Add coriander, cumin, galangal, lemon zest, lime zest, cilantro and basil. Stir in brown sugar, fish sauce and coconut milk. At this point, depending on how finely you chopped the fresh herbs and chilies, you may want to process this sauce to a smoother consistency. I am a whole-hearted devotee of the immersion blender, as it will accomplish most such tasks in the kitchen without the necessity of dirtying the food processor bowl in addition to the cooking pot. If, however, you are one of the unfortunate class of Americans who do not own an immersion blender, you can always just transfer your sauce to a food processor. If you prefer to be proactive about it, you can take all the ingredients up to and including the coconut milk, combine them in your food processor, and then heat in the saucepan.

Once sauce is desired smoothness, add the meat, if using. If using a combination of meat and vegetables, like we did, the meat should be added first, cooked until tender, and then vegetables should be added and they can simmer together until the vegetables are done. I prefer curry meat to be so tender it easily falls apart under my fork, so there is no such thing for me as meat that is too well stewed.”

You Go to War with the Vegetables You Have

I followed the recipe more or less exactly, except that I used a teaspoon of dried lemongrass instead of the lemon rind. And because I don’t have an immersion blender, I had to sauté, then transfer to my food processor, then transfer back for further simmering, which was perilous and kind of a pain in the ass.

The final result was lackluster at best. I mean, it wasn’t BAD, it just wasn’t … good.

But I was determined to keep at it, and vowed to try again. Mark’s Made With Love Mondays gave me the impetus to attack the problem this week.

To begin with, I adjusted my technique to compensate for my lack of an immersion blender; rather than once again undertake the perilous hot-liquid double-transfer maneuver, I started by pureeing in my food processor:

1 chopped onion
4 large crushed garlic cloves
2 chopped jalapeno peppers, seeded and deveined
a large handful of fresh cilantro (probably about 1 cup)
about 1/3 of a cup of fresh basil leaves
the zested rind of 1½ limes, ½ a lemon, and the juice of 1 lime

As you can see, I was already making measurement adjustments. I pureed all of that into a wet paste, and put it into a heavy pot with about two tablespoonfuls of canola oil and four chicken thighs. I added:

1 heaping tablespoon of ground ginger
½ teaspoon of cumin
½ teaspoon of coriander
1 heaping teaspoon of ground galangal
1 teaspoon of dried lemongrass
1 tablespoonful of brown sugar
about 6 dashes of fish sauce
1 can of whole coconut milk

(If Mark thinks canned coconut milk doesn’t count as “from scratch” he can bite me, cause where the hell am I gonna get a coconut in Pittsburgh? Ahem.)

I simmered all of this for an hour, added about two cups of chopped up cabbage, and simmered for another 15 minutes. Then I put a cup of jasmine rice on to cook, added about half a cup of chopped carrots and a diced red pepper, and simmered for another 20 minutes until the rice was done. (Like Sarah, I regard the question of “what to put in the curry sauce” to be purely a matter of desire and/or necessity: I happened to have cabbage because I like cabbage, and so the cabbage was curried.)

It's not pretty, but it was pretty good.

This new batch of green curry was, flavor-wise, a marked improvement. Increasing the dose of the spices and adding the extra citrus zests seemed to help immensely. It could have been a little hotter, but that’s a matter of preference anyway, and I think next time just using serrano instead of jalapeno peppers will do the trick. The one thing that still needs improving is the creaminess – it just wasn’t creamy the way restaurant Thai curries are. I may need to use more canned coconut milk; but I think a better solution might be a can of coconut milk plus some coconut cream if I can find it. Or I could follow the lead of the cheap Thai place I used to eat at when I worked downtown, and just throw some heavy cream in at the end – not exactly authentic, but it got the job done.

Anyway, the point is, it wasn’t necessarily a victory, but it wasn’t a fail, either. And it was healthy and from scratch and tasty enough that Ted and I both had seconds.

JWsMadeWLuvMondays

Quick Hit: A Tale of Two Nonfiction Books

Eleventy weeks ago, I started reading The Classical World, by Robin Lane Fox. It is a history, stretching from Homer to Hadrian. I am a big fan of one-volume history books: they allow me to have a little bit of knowledge about a lot of things, and while some say this is dangerous, I do not think that that particular cliche applies to things like world history - yes, spending five minutes on Web MD will erroneously convince you that you have cancer, but spending two weeks with a history of Latin America, say, is bound to be good for you rather than bad.

The problem, here, is that I have not spent two weeks with The Classical World, I have spent eleventy, or thereabouts, and am still not half-way through. On the other hand, drained by continuing efforts to read the book, I picked up Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma last weekend and devoured it (har har) in two days. Pollan’s book details the origins of four meals: a fast-food dinner at McDonald’s, a Big Organic meal from Whole Foods, a locally, sustainably farmed meal, and a dinner that Pollan hunts and forages largely on his own. I learned about Big Corn, industrial slaughterhouses, and food “formulation”; how one has to have a device on their combine to chase away field mice before the wee organic spring mix lettuces are harvested; how pigs, alcoholic corn kernels, and wood chips can turn six months’ worth of cow shit into beautiful compost; and what sort of people go hunting for wild chanterelles, among other things. It was a fascinating, enervating, enraging, inspiring book about food.

So what’s the problem here? It’s not that Greek and Roman history aren’t interesting. It’s just that these two authors have come up against the dilemma of conveying facts to interested lay people. Sometimes nonfiction books are too concerned with the laity of their audience; they come off as more narrative fluff than factual discourse, and this is a rip-off. It’s is boring, but also condescending: I am reading your book to learn about this subject in an at least somewhat meaningful way, not just to listen to you jabber about the most superficial of supposedly “scandalous” points of interest regarding it; treat me like a curious adult, able and desirous to learn.

On the other hand, one can go too far in the other direction: nonfiction books for laypeople need also to be narratively interesting. I am not SO fascinated by this topic, dear author, that I have chosen to devote years of study to it; rather, I am willing to sit down and learn 600 or so pages of the material that will give me the best general outline of the subject. It can’t be dry - thorough, yes, but not pedantic or plodding. In other words, the book must be stylistically engaging; I’m reading for enjoyment, not to get my Ph.D.

And so there is a sweet spot: academically thorough but narratively engaging. It’s hard to pull off. Mr. Pollan has done it, and Mr. Fox has not, alas. I’m still slowly plodding through The Classical World, and I expect to finish it, but I doubt I’ll review it here when I do. It’s not fantastically dreadful like Travels in Siberia, and so ripe for a blog thrashing; its subject matter interests me or I wouldn’t have bought it in the first place, and its author, furthermore, doesn’t seem like a douchebag. It’s just dull.

By the way, if you’re looking for a good one-book history of Latin America, allow me to recommend Born in Blood and Fire by John Charles Chasteen.

Braddock’s American Brasserie: Eh.

On the Fourth of July, Ted and I tried a new-to-us fine (semi-fine?) dining restaurant, Braddock’s American Brasserie & Streetside Bar. It’s the hotel restaurant and bar in the Renaissance Hotel downtown, and we had a Groupon. Our plan was to have dinner and then walk out and watch the fireworks. Braddock’s claims that its aim is to serve updated and upscaled meals based on the traditional cooking of Pittsburgh’s many early immigrant communities, and it also touts itself as having the largest selection of whiskeys of any bar in Pittsburgh. This sounded like a super set up.

The bar is separated from the restaurant proper by the hotel lobby (which is beautiful). I like this arrangement, because the noise from the bar doesn’t intrude on the dining room. The dining room itself was done up with big leather booths and dark walls, a sort of more cleanly lined take on old-school fancy restaurant decor. Including Ted and I, there were perhaps seven or eight tables. Ted noticed that despite the fact that the dining room was perhaps only one/fifth full, the three servers were running around frantically as though the place were packed - this was not a good omen, it turned out.

We spent a long time waiting for service with the menu and drink menu. They did have perhaps two or three dozen whiskeys on their list, but frankly, having recently been at McCormack’s Whisky Grill in Richmond, VA, and Village Whiskey in Philadelphia, the selection just wasn’t comparatively all that impressive. I ordered a Blanton’s, though, which I’ve had before and enjoyed.

It came with lipstick on the rim of the glass. Not just a whisper of gloss, either. Bold red lipstick stains, that the bartender and the server both should have noticed. I sent it back. I mean, come on, if I’m spending upwards of $15 on a pour of whiskey, the glass should be clean and sparkling.

The server was very apologetic and hurried a new glass back to me, though, so there was that. Then Ted and I ordered the cheese plate. Frankly, it was uninspired. There were six cheeses, one of which I could identify straight away as Beemster XO, which is a good cheese, but readily available at Giant Eagle - I like my cheese plate experiences to offer me something I can’t pick up readily at the grocery store. There was also a very young gouda that was bland and frankly had no business being on an upscale cheese plate. There were two good goat cheeses, but here we ran into another problem: the bread served with the tray was grilled in garlic butter. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like a nice buttery garlic bread. But the flavor of the bread itself completely overwhelmed the subtle tastes of the soft, light goat cheeses. So we asked for more bread, plain.

Here commences a 20-minute wait for bread.

The server came over and apologized after about seven minutes; he apologized again when the bread finally came out after twenty. Guys: it’s fucking bread. How on earth could it take 20 fucking minutes to get me some plain baguette slices? Honestly - how?

Shortly afterward, our entrees came. Ted ordered the special, swordfish steak served with roasted roma tomatoes and a hearty rice pilaf. I ordered the “Housemade Potato Gnocchi and Lobster,” described as coming with “three types of mushrooms, artichokes, and parmesan cream sauce”.

The food was less bad than it was incompetent. Ted’s roasted tomatoes were very good, the tomato flavor being nicely condensed by the roasting and flavored with olive oil. His pilaf was a nice blend of heartier rices, but it was underseasoned. His swordfish was also dreadfully underseasoned, as well as overcooked.

On my plate, the gnocchi themselves were excellent, perhaps the best I’ve had - they were buttery, hearty without being starchy, semi-soft and just generally deliciously potato-y. But then things went awry. For one thing, there were absolutely no artichokes - perhaps they got lost wherever the bread went missing. The cream sauce was fine, delicately flavored, though noting noteworthy; the lobster was dropped onto the dish in artless chunks, but otherwise fine. But then the mushrooms - oh, the mushrooms. There were a million of them, heaped over all the rest of the dish, and their strong umami taste completely overwhelmed the light cream sauce and delicate lobster flavor. It was just a terrible idea - who put this dish together? I tried a gnocchi with a bite of Ted’s roasted tomato and it was excellent. Braddock’s - simplify. Since clearly, when you try to get “fancy” you go awry. (Of course, how simple is a rice pilaf and a fish steak, and that, too, went awry. So … I don’t know what to tell you.)

With my meal I had a glass of wine, a $13 pinot noir that was fine, but nothing to write home about - Braddock’s wine list, in fact, was not particularly impressive at all. Ted had a cocktail of whiskey and fresh muddled berries that he liked a lot. We took a look at the bar menu, and it seemed to have simpler fair, sandwiches and moules frites. Perhaps we should have taken our Groupon to the Streetside Bar.

We won’t be returning to Braddock’s. The whiskey list the bar touts doesn’t stack up to other whiskey bars I’ve been to, and the wine list was dismal compared to what I’d expect for a restaurant holding itself out as traditional fine dining. The kitchen was incompetent during our visit, both in terms of getting our food out to us, and in the composition and execution of the dishes. There were a few quality moments in the meal, but at Braddock’s prices, they simply weren’t worth it. Even discounting our $40 Groupon, our meal, with two drinks apiece, one appetizer, and two entrees came in at $107. At this price point, any of the upscale Big Burrito restaurants - Eleven, Soba, Casbah - is a much better, tastier dining experience, and you can have much better food for much less money at Point Brugge or (the BYOB) Piccolo Forno, to name just two better values off the top of my head.

The fireworks were nice, though.

The Theme of Today’s Books is: Panama.

Last year about this time I was in Panama. It’s not a spot I’d recommend visiting. Far and away the two best things about the place (we stayed in Panama City and on the truly depressing island of Taboga) were the Bed and Breakfast we stayed in while in Panama City, Casa Las Americas, and the touristing we did related to the Panama Canal - the canal itself, and the canal museum located in the “old section” of Panama City. Nothing in this museum is in English, and Ted and I speak no Spanish, but we still managed to spend almost three hours there, looking at all of the exhibits and trying through the decipherment of cognates to piece together what the panels of texts throughout the museum were trying to tell us - part of the fun actually turned out to be this construction of our own, poorly translated history: “Holy shit! Teddy Roosevelt conquered France!”

Anyhoo, while we were at the canal itself, which has many displays in English, and where you can (and we did) eat lunch while overlooking the Miraflores locks, waving to the sparse crews on the enormous ships that pass through on their way to and from the Pacific, we also hit the gift shop, ’cause, c’mon. While there, I got a Panama Canal t-shirt - OF COURSE - and a book by David McCullough, “The Path Between the Seas: The Creation of the Panama Canal, 1870-1914”.

I finally got around to reading it, and the chief reflection I have after it is that reviews of good books are much, much more boring than reviews of bad books. “The Path Between the Seas” is a dense historical account, but McCullough, who won the National Book Award twice, once for this book, and the Pulitzer Prize twice, is an able narrator. The book must surely be the definitive account of the building of the canal - no stone is left unturned by McCullough, either in the account of the failed French efforts on the Isthmus or the triumphant American ones. Considering that the book was written in the 1970s, McCullough even does an admirable job of addressing the lives of the massive population of oppressed black laborers that built the canal, though his account is still very much a part of the “Big Men Doing Big Deeds” style of history. Despite its density of fact, the book is very readable. Basically, all of this boils down to, if you have any interest in the Panama Canal, American history at the turn of the 20th century, or engineering history generally, you should check this book out. Even if you don’t have an interest in any of those things, you might be surprised at how interesting this book actually is, if you’re patient with it.

The other book on the table for today is “The Leafcutter Ants: Civilization by Instinct” by Bert Holldolber and Edward O. Wilson. You see, while we were having breakfast one morning on the shaded veranda of the Casa Las Americas, we had the pleasure of watching some leafcutter ants at work. They came up the side of the building, to the second story where we were seated, marched along the edge of the porch, and began to swarm gently over some flowering bushes that were planted in the large, deep planter that rimmed the entire porch. We could see them carefully chewing out pieces of the leaves and bright pink flowers, which, when finally freed, they then carried over their heads like little sails or parasols (in the southern U.S., leafcutter ants are known as “parasol ants”), marching off in a train that passed the incoming train of ants exactly. It was fascinating and lovely in its way, each little ant with its brightly colored confetti, tromping through the shade and sun. Said our host, the American ex-pat owner of the B & B, “They’re not good for the bushes. I guess I should kill them or something, but they’re just working so hard - it doesn’t seem right.” He watched them with us for awhile, and then went about his work.

With these industrious little Panamanian ants in mind, Ted picked up, not too long ago, from the Borders as it went out of business, “The Leafcutter Ants.” It is a small, shiny book with lots of pictures, and I figured it would make a nice thematic coda to the book on the canal.

Well, let me tell you, just because a book is small and shiny and full of pictures doesn’t mean it’s going to be a light read. This book reads like a scientific paper. It is dense with particularized terms and scientific details - this chemical, this sensory lobe structure, this genetic marker, etc. Now. That doesn’t mean it’s not interesting - these little ants inhabit a fascinating world, where they live in symbiosis with not just fungi but bacteria as well, and in competition with different fungal and ant foes, and the way they’ve evolved in tandem with their mutualist partners to cope with these threats is a testament to the beauty and intricacy of natural selection and the world of life in general. I’m just saying, don’t pick up this book thinking that it’s shiny and small and full of pictures and think that it’s going to be an easy read. Ants might be wee, but they are COMPLEX.

Werner Herzog’s Cave of Forgotten Dreams (3D)

Last night Ted and I made the trek out to Robinson to go to the Cinemark theater at Settler’s Ridge. “Cave of Forgotten Dreams” was released months ago, but the Robinson Cinemark is the first place in the area to show it; Tuesdays, by the by, are the “sale” days out at that theater - our 3D tickets were $8.25 apiece.

First, a word about 3D: in general, like Roger Ebert, I’m opposed. I’ve seen several “blockbuster” type movies in 3D, and I never think the experience adds much to the viewing. To begin with, 3D movies do not resemble human, stereoscopic vision - rather, what they allow is for you to examine all of the plains of focus in the shot, since all of the plains are simultaneously in focus, as opposed to traditional 2D films, which confine the viewer’s examining gaze to only that plain that the director has chosen to focus on. The thing is, my experience has been that there’s never anything worth examining in these 3D blockbusters’ other plains - the directors never seem to take the opportunity to fill the middle or far distance with anything visually interesting or important, making the opportunity to examine them not worth the distractingly unrealistic nature of the 3D format, nor the increased ticket price. In general, it seems 3D directors only value the ability to have fists, swords, exploding debris, or what have you “fly out of the screen” at the viewer, and I don’t see that that enhances the movie-viewing experience, certainly not to the tune of five extra bucks.

A pride of lions from Chauvet cave.

However, also like Roger Ebert, I thought “Cave of Forgotten Dreams” utilizes 3D differently and well. The movie is a documentary that explores the Chauvet cave, discovered in France in 1994, which contains the earliest known cave paintings produced by human beings - the paintings, spanning thousands of years, are between 40,000 and 30,000 years old. A rockslide sealed the mouth of the cave many thousands of years ago, preserving it perfectly until it was recently rediscovered. Since its discovery, the French government has kept it carefully sealed and guarded, allowing only scientists to briefly enter the still nearly pristine cave; even they must limit their visits to a scant hour or two at a time, and they may only tread on a narrow, carefully laid steel track. This cave and its artifacts are treasures of humanity, and the care with which they are being preserved gives one a sense of relief.

Horses on the Walls of Chauvet

The drawings themselves are breathtaking, heart-rending renditions of prehistoric animals in overlapping numbers, doing battle, nuzzling, running, uttering. The geology of the cave itself is also stunning, and here is where the 3D makes the film: all of the plains of focus in the cave are worth examining in the minutest of detail - the geologic formations, the bones of animals preserved over time, and the drawings themselves, which were drawn upon undulating walls and which the artists rendered in such a way as to take advantage of the walls’ undulations in conveying a sense of movement in their animal subjects.

Werner Herzog narrates the film, and if you’ve ever seen a Werner Herzog movie before, you know he’s absolutely crazy, which can be fun. (I highly recommend you check out Encounters At the End of the World, streaming live on Netflix, for an example of his batshittery and the unexpected joy it brings to some of his films.) But crazy can be distracting, too, so it’s lucky that Herzog chooses to narrate Cave of Forgotten Dreams only lightly, and so does not tread on the absolute wonder he documents in this cave, which seems to represent the beginning of human-ness, the birth of what Herzog calls the human soul.

Chuavet Rhinocerous

What I found most striking about the drawings was their continuity over time: scientists have determined that different drawings were made up to 5,000 years apart, and yet they clearly share the same artist’s conception of the world and its creatures. Considering the fragmentation of our modern culture - our inability to meaningfully understand our ancestors’ lives of only a hundred or so years ago, or even our inability to understand our contemporaries if they are located too far from our experience - it astounds me that these ancient artists’ work and its content was coherent and meaningful to their fellow artists thousands of years later.

I was also struck by their impression of the natural world as literally teeming with life: the animals on the cave walls are in crowds, they suggest multitudes. I believe that if you could transport one of the artists from 30,000 years ago to the present, the absence in the modern world of this crowd of life would be the most shocking change. Technology, of course, has advanced, but these people, our ancestors, had tools, and understood their usefulness - once the shock had worn off, I’m sure they would see and understand that our buildings, equipment, transportation devices, are all just improved tools for survival. But I get the sense that the absence, in our ever-diminishing world of environmental degradation, of the teeming host of fellow creatures that must have been of such bedrock importance to a time-travelling paleolithic artist would be irreconcilable.

Weekend at the Trailer

Over Memorial Day Weekend, Sarah decided to avail herself of the Trailer, and asked Ted and I to accompany her. Not having any plans ourselves, we decided this was a capital idea.

The Trailer has been mentioned before, in my Blog of Yesteryear “Salamanca, Ho!”. Sarah’s parents own a single-wide trailer in Great Valley, New York, which is situated near Salamanca and Ellicottville, and near the Seneca Nation. Calling this abode a trailer doesn’t really do it justice: it’s got three bedrooms, a nice small living room with cable TV, and a full kitchen and dining area, plus a washer/dryer and whole-house air conditioning, which we might have broken. Sarah’s father, known popularly as Neilbert, grew up in Salamanca, and his brothers and many of his family members still reside there. Plus Neilbert is an avid skier, and so on many weekends, he and wife Saundra will venture up to New York to see the family and do some skiing, weather permitting. This was not one of those weekends, though, so off went the younger generation to enjoy the Trailer.

Two car decals, one of Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes, praying to a cross, the other of a naked woman wearing a cowboy hat in silhouette.

I felt like I learned a lot about the middle of nowhere in the gas station.

We drove through the middle of nowhere, PA, and though it’s actually a route I’d traveled before (See my Blog of Yesteryear “Smethport, Ho!”), I’m always sort of amazed at how much straight-up Nothing there is in the world, and how many people are willing - I would assume even pleased - to live amongst so much Nothing. I realize Pittsburgh may not seem like The Big City to certain residents of New York, LA, or Chicago, but I assure you, when you get up near Kane, PA, Ted, Sarah, and I are City Folk, capital C capital F.

A man with long curly hair, a beard and glasses standing behind a counter full of food items.

Ted and the Provisions

We arrived and unpacked. The Trailer having a kitchen and all, it seemed prudent to bring provisions, to save money. Grocery shopping is one of my favorite hobbies, so I was pleased to put together what I viewed as a wholesome and tasty array of comestibles: whole-seed bread, cheeses, mixed nuts, cucumbers, tomatoes, pineapple, mango fresh and dried, cherries, Swedish Fish, and most of a bottle of Irish Whiskey. Sarah also brought snacks, including wines, ingredients to make deviled eggs and Doritos - mmm, Doritos. Doritos are the sort of thing that I never buy, because I know that having bought them I will just eat them, and that’s just not good for me. And yet. Doritos. So good. The Trailer was well stocked indeed.

We enjoyed a late lunch - and learned that Sarah loves Swedish Fish - and then took a nap. See, here’s the beauty of the Trailer: there’s nothing to do. Now, if I had to spend a couple of weeks there, I might very well get bored. But for a long weekend it’s great. Because at home, when you do nothing, you feel guilty. There’s always some damn thing you could be doing at home - something you could be cleaning, some household project that needs addressed, some social contact you owe a call to … whatever it is, doing nothing at home is always a shirking of responsibility. But doing nothing at the Trailer? Why, it’s all that can be done! Naps all around!

A photo of a fake shark mounted on the wall, appearing to menace a taxidermied, fierce-looking raccoon.

The Gin Mill had some colorful customers.

We awoke in the evening and headed into Ellicottville. Ellicotville is basically a one-block crossroads of nice things to do for the out-of-town skiiers who might not be completely satisfied with only what Salamanca has to offer; it’s got a microbrewery and a health food store and such things that the good small-town folk of rural Western New York may not have built on their own accord, had it not been for certain urban elements and their ski resorts. So much the better for us. We started out at a bar called The Gin Mill, where a previous Internet check had revealed wings were served. Being only an hour or so from Buffalo, Ted was eager to try to the local wings, assuming that proximity to Buffalo and quality of wings increase proportionally. The trouble is that Ted doesn’t like Buffalo Wings, per se - as I’ve previously mentioned, he has a delicate tongue, and does not care for spicy things. So he ordered BBQ wings. To me, this defeats the entire experiment seeking to answer the question “Are Buffalo Wings Better the Closer One Gets to Buffalo?” - but he could not be dissuaded. Here was the interesting thing we learned: Ellicottville BBQ sauce is vinegary. Now, I’ve encountered vinegary, Carolina-style BBQ sauces before (mostly in the Carolinas, natch), and they’re good, no doubt. But I was not expecting to encounter one in Western New York. Well. Now you know. Ted proclaimed them very good. Also, Sarah and I sampled the curly fries, which the menu claims are hand-cut to order, and which were very good indeed.
A man with long curly hair and a beard eating chicken wings, with sauce on his hands and face.

Ted gets down to business.

A picture of the back of a man and very large metal brewing tanks.

Where the magic happens.

From The Gin Mill, we headed over a block to the Ellicottville Brewing Company, which brews its own beer and serves dinner. We tried several of the beers, one I’d had previously, the Blueberry Wheat, which is charmingly served with blueberries dancing in it. I tried the Pantius Droppius, an Imperial Pale Ale, Sarah got the Black Jack Oatmeal Stout, and Ted tried the Bourbon Barrel Imperial - all were fine brews. We also sampled and ended up buying a growler of the Catt County Cuvee, which was floral and well-balanced and very, very good.

A picture of plates of food and beer - sandwiches and macaroni and cheese.

Dinner at the Ellicottville Brewing Company.

We also ate at the EBC, with somewhat mixed results. Ted and Sarah both ordered the pulled pork sandwich, which was very good - I sampled it. I got the portobello sandwich and asked for bacon on it, too, and that was also very good. We all got sides of mac and cheese, which was a little on the disappointing side, coming out sort of lukewarm and not as piquant as one might have hoped. Our meals were also served with fries, but mine were far too soggy from the escaping portobello juices to eat. Restaurants! If you intend to serve a portobello sandwich, you must serve sides on the actual side, in separate containers - the sandwich is just too messy to not have the mushroom juices swamp everything else on the plate. That is all.

A picture of a man with long curly hair, a beard and glasses holding up a white ticket with a cash sum printed on it.

The big winner.

Dying from the sheer amount of food we’d consumed, we took our growler and some leftovers (and a six-pack gift for Ted’s and my kittysitters, Carley and Will) and left Ellicottville. Ted wanted to try his luck at the Casino Niagara, which is operated by the Seneca Nation. Sarah and I aren’t gamblers, but we agreed to indulge Ted for a bit. The casino is large and nicely appointed. I’ve been in Vegas before, and while it’s not the Bellagio, it’s also modern and attractively designed. In 20 minutes Ted won $30 on the small-change slots, and we all considered this a success.

A picture of the outside of a small diner, with cars in the parking lot and blue sky behind, and a sign reading "Restaurant 25 cent coffee"

Langworthy's - now on Foursquare.

After our big day, we turned in early, and the next morning we headed out to Diner Breakfast. One of Ted’s favorite things to do while traveling is experience local diners, and we had plans to go to Eddy’s, just down the street from the Trailer. Alas, Eddy’s owners had closed up for the long weekend! And so we headed out of town to Langworthy’s, which is the second-smallest diner I’ve ever been in, and appears to serve the largest pancakes I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately I didn’t try the pancakes, only saw them from a distance - I had a perfectly good plate of eggs, potatoes, and bacon, and an absolutely fantastic biscuit. Sarah had cream chipped beef on toast, and Ted had an egg sammich. And we all had 25-cent coffee, as it seems to be the specialty of the house. And y’know, for 25 cents, it was good coffee. I mean, it wasn’t the best coffee I’ve ever had or anything, but seriously, at 25 cents it was a steal.

A picture of two men on a green lawn on either side of a black drum, one throwing a frisbee.

Local invention: Kan Jam. Jam Kan? Some such.

We lolligagged about for a bit, and then we headed over to Randolph, NY to go to Jenn and Trevor’s cook-out. Jenn and Trevor had occasioned my first stay at the Trailer, when I went to their wedding as Sarah’s date, as detailed in “Salamanca, Ho!”. Many of the same folk from the wedding were at the cook-out, including Sarah’s many Uncle -berts, and Uncle Howard, who may still think that Sarah and I are lesbian partners. If this is so, Ted’s presence was probably a minor mystery, but then, we could all three just be in a VERY progressive relationship, or perhaps Ted was just our egg donor subordinate. I was willing to spin off any of these tales, but Uncle Howard never asked. We got to meet Jenn’s and Trevor’s very cute furkids, including their rescued greyhouds, who are exactly what I like in a dog: calm and polite and quiet. Their heads are at hand-height, perfectly aligned for them to stand quietly next to you for an indefinite period of time while you rub their ears. We also were introduced to the game of Kan Jam, which provides a purpose to Frisbee tossing, which I had always previously regarded as aimless and a bit silly. It involves two teams of two people each, trying to score points by tossing the Frisbee to and fro and trying to get it into the Kans - either by the non-throwing partner smacking it into the top of the Kan, or the throwing partner pulling off the feat of actually tossing the Frisbee through the slot in the side of the Kan. It seemed a pleasant diversion, and the rumor is that it is of local (Western NY) origin. It’s good to the support the local customs, though Ted and I sat around in the shade like city folk, getting itchy from being outside.

We left as the mosquitoes were coming out and a few rain drops were beginning to fall - a few raindrops that turned into an impressive storm. Home at the Trailer, Ted and I showered off the itch and then we all decided to do some drinking, since, c’mon, that’s what vacations are for. There was the growler of beer, the boxes of wine Sarah had brought, the whiskey, and some further provision raiding, including Sarah’s delicious, delicious Doritos. We all got a little drunk and I got bossy, commanding Ted to refill our drinks for us and other such things. Sarah also got misty-eyed talking about how much she loves Neilbert, which I figure he’ll be glad to hear. I ate a crap-ton of Doritos. A good time was had by all.

The next morning it was paralyzingly hot, a condition not alleviated on the trip home, as Sarah’s PT Cruiser’s air conditioner is broken - also I got quite queasy from carsickness. But let’s not dwell on these unfortunate facts! The point is, we had a nice time at the Trailer, and Ted and I would like to return - we never saw the Seneca Nation museum, or got to eat at Eddy’s, and Buffalo is about an hour away, so we could make a day trip from the Trailer of wing sampling. I also gather that there are some vineyards in the area, and I do like me some wine tasting. So in conclusion, Hooray for the Trailer. Saundra and Neilbert, I hope we didn’t break your air conditioning.

“Travels in Siberia” with the worst traveling companion ever.

I’m a little behind on my summer reading list. First I read Ivan Turgenev’s “Sketches from a Hunter’s Album,” a classic short story collection from 19th-century Russia. I would recommend it. Turgenev was the first noble author to write about peasant characters as though they were people; also, his descriptions of the natural world are moving and transporting. And if you yourself are, or aspire to be, a writer, you should not go forward without reading “Bezhin Lea” - its composition is basically perfect.

Travels in Siberia by Ian FrazierFrom Turgenev I turned to Ian Frazier’s “Travels in Siberia”. I hadn’t read any of Frazier’s past work, but I gathered from reviews of this book that he had gained fame for travel writing in the U.S., and that his trips through Siberia were equally entertaining. I love nonfiction, and I love travel writing - there are many places in the world I don’t anticipate getting to see first-hand, and it’s nice to get a glimpse of them through others’ accounts of their sojourns.

The book is about Frazier’s encounters with Siberia. He traveled to Russia for the first time in the early ’90s, and claims to have been beset with a kind of mystical “Russia-love.” He vowed to return, particularly to Siberia, which he became fascinated by through reading. He approaches Russia via Alaska in the ’90s, then returns for a full-length drive across Siberia with two guides in 2001. He makes a cold-weather sojourn several years later, and the book recounts all of these trips. The majority of the book is concerned with the extended 2001 road trip.

Frazier has done a lot of reading and research into the history of Siberia and its major players, and I found the parts of the book where he has condensed this research to be interesting; likewise, I found interesting his descriptions of the places and natural environments he moves through as he travels.

About a third of the way through the book, however, I realized that I wasn’t enjoying the reading experience at all. It took me a few more pages of consideration, but then I realized why: I hate Ian Frazier.

Don’t misunderstand, I’ve never met the guy. But his book is a nonfiction, first-person account, and so obviously, you get to know the author as you read. And he’s … awful. He doesn’t seem to realize this, but as a traveling companion, Ian Frazier is just awful.

Most notably he is irritatingly nervous about everything. Yes, Siberia is a place where much could go wrong, and I can tell you from experience that it can be a little nervewracking to travel through a country where basically no one speaks English, and you speak none of the native tongue (though Frazier seems to know basic Russian, whereas I, when in Panama, knew no more than 10 words of Spanish, none of which involved negotiating taxi fares). But Frazier is well-outfitted, well-funded, and guided by two men who both speak fluent English. And yet he worries. Incessantly and obsessively, about things that seem not to merit any concern at all. When they camp near a ferry stop (one must camp in most of Siberia) he worries that his tent will be run over in the night by a vehicle coming to wait for the ferry. When they must travel with their van in a train car over a roadless stretch of territory, he worries for three days straight that there are not enough safety precautions, and the cars are full of gas, and what happens if one of them spontaneously explodes? He experiences a bout of food poisoning in St. Petersburg, and thereafter never eats a meal without worrying that it will murder him. He frets CONSTANTLY over the fact that Russians don’t wear seatbelts, even though the guides have provided a seatbelt for him! He panics when his guides are late returning to camp from a trip to a nearby village. This is but a sampling; his obsessive, half-irrational fears are chronicled on nearly every page of the book.

Besides these endless worries, and probably because of them, Frazier barely engages with the actual people and life of Siberia. His guides frequently visit the villages they camp near, for supplies but also for socializing; Frazier never accompanies them, staying by himself in the campsite. When he is offered vodka, he refuses. I can say authoritatively: unless you are a recovering alcoholic, or have a religious prohibition on its consumption, if a Slav offers you vodka, you should drink it. I’m not saying get wasted - but take one shot. Because it’s very rude if you don’t. This doesn’t seem to phase Frazier a bit. If he is a recovering alcoholic, and has not mentioned this fact in his book, I retract my statement. But I doubt that’s the case. Frazier turns down an offer for lunch from a random passerby who knows English and seems happy to meet an American; he often seems awkward and bored when Siberians in off-the-map places put on programs for the American author who has come, they think, to chronicle them. In all, Frazier seems much more interested in retracing the steps of the explorers of a hundred years ago that he has read about simply for the sake of doing so, rather than experiencing the Russia of here-and-now. I found myself wondering over and over again, Why would this person go to Siberia if Siberia as it is seems to leave him terrified and disinterested? Reading books would have more than sufficed for his purposes.

Besides all this, he is unpleasant in other ways. Let me illustrate with an incident he recounts without comment: he is in a regional museum in a Siberian city. Another man, an Englishman, approaches him, having heard him speaking English, and, in a friendly manner, asks him where he’s from. Frazier, who is from New Jersey, tells the man that he is from London. He says, “I didn’t even bother to put on an accent.” Obviously skeptical, the Englishman asks where in London; Frazier replies that he lives in a neighborhood by the Thames that the Englishman probably hasn’t heard of. Pushing on, the Englishman offers his name and the fact that he is writing a book. Frazier offers none of the same information, and shrugs the encounter off. End scene.

What the fuck is that? Does Frazier think it was a joke? Why would you be rude to the first person besides your guides that you have encountered in Siberia who speaks your language? Why would you recount the incident in your book? Does Frazier think he is a wit? I’m literally perplexed by his account of this encounter. What an ass.

[As an aside, Frazier notes that the man’s name is Simon Richmond, and says that Richmond exclaimed that he was going to put Frazier in his book. An internet search reveals that there is a Brit named Simon Richmond who authors and co-author’s Lonely Planet guidebooks, including one on the Trans-Siberian Railway and one on Russia in general. I do not know if he put Ian Frazier in one of these, but I feel inclined to buy one on principle - Richmond, I’m sure, deserves my money much more than Frazier did for his book.]

Frazier’s an ass on other occasions, apparently without realizing it. He’s also maudlin, overly nostalgic for his youth in Ohio, and deeply self-centered, irritatedly demanding that his guides take him to abandoned prison camps even though they’re clearly made very uncomfortable by this. In general, Frazier is preoccupied with his own needs and expectations … “privileged” is a word that kept recurring to my mind. And then we have this garbage, written after the passage in which the reader learns that Frazier coincidentally finished his Siberian road trip on September 11, 2001:

“But out in the rest of the actual world, people were thinking about us, in a larger sense, and specifically about [the World Trade Center]. The attack that targeted it represented not so much the beginning of a new war as a cruelly and ingeniously updated new wrinkle in an old, old war, one going back almost to the beginning of Islam. The recently ended Cold War, in whose ruins Sergei and Volodya and I had been wandering would have been difficult to explain to ancient ghosts who knew nothing about twentieth-century physics. But the September 11 attacks would have made perfect sense to, say, Saladin: the flying machines, the proud towers, the slaughtered innocents, the suicidal believers, are a simple story that exists out of time. To Yermak and the other Christian conquerors of Siberia’s Muslim khan, September 11 would have been easily understandable, and perhaps further inducement to victory, had they heard its story while gathered around their smoky Tobol River campfires.”

So. The conflation of modern-day Muslims with their ancient predecessors, exoticizing them and construing them as unevolving, ahistoric savages? Check! The depiction of terrorism and religious bigotry as a universal truth for all Muslims, in the past and present? Check! Bonus construal of the 9/11 attacks and America’s response to them as a religious war rather than a geopolitical one, thus casting all members of the “opposing” Muslim religion as combatants? Check and check!

People, that’s racism.

In summary, “Travels in Siberia”, though containing interesting facts, was a nightmare to read, basically because Ian Frazier seems like a nightmare to spend time with. The fact that he does not appear to realize that fact at all is mildly fascinating, but not fascinating enough to sustain a reader through 471 pages. Feel free to skip this book.

In Which I Am Torn About #TightsAsPants

Dear Reader, I’m sure you’ve encountered at some point one or both of the following:

*Someone wearing a pair of tights and a longish shirt apparently thinking that said tights suffice as lower body covering.

*Someone remarking, commenting, tweeting that “tights aren’t pants!” (I think I’ve sent such a tweet myself in the past.)

I had occasion to mull this extremely first-world conflict last week, and as it’s been on my mind since then, I decided to take to the blog.

I follow a few nice ladies on Twitter who live in Australia, and often I see them all talking about something that is an apparent mystery to me, but which was obviously a recent topic in Australian media. Last week, I noticed that, all on the same evening, several of them twittered things like, “I will wear what I fucking please! #tightsaspants” I take it, though I do not know for sure, that some Australian lady-commentator made derogatory comments about people who wear tights as pants, prompting some general outrage and frustration.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a proud fat lady, and as such I feel a fair amount of feminist outrage at the way fat women’s bodies are policed and, to a lesser degree, the way our fashion choices are circumscribed, either literally because of a lack of shopping options or metaphorically because of the general shaming and nagging society inflicts when fat women don’t dress according to the mystical “what fat people are supposed to wear” rules (“slimming cuts” - whatever the fuck that means, a lot of black, no loud or clashing patterns, etc.). I’m not much of a clothes horse - it just doesn’t interest me, and I doubt it much would even if I were thin and rich and had all the clothing options in the world - but many fat activists use fashion - or, “fatshion” - as a tool of not only self-expression but of resistance: resistance to a dominant cultural narrative that demands of fat people, and fat women especially, that they not take up too much space, literally, and figuratively by standing out, by refusing to be cowed by consensus opinion that our bodies are not “right,” not attractive, grotesque, offensive, and shameful. (Marianne Kirby has an excellent recent blog post on this subject on her website, www.therotund.com, that started me thinking about this.) This, I think, is part of a larger patriarchal culture that tries to demand acquiescence by women to the idea that they are primarily valuable only as sexual objects for men, and as such must remain constantly available and constantly “attractive” as the dominant culture conceives of the term. By not being “attractive” in this way, fat women advertantly or inadvertantly defy this patriarchal command - as do women who are queer - and so we are punished for it by harassment, shaming, policing, and stigma. (Straight women who meet the standard of what is “attractive” and yet who are loud, uppity, and reject the notion that their value is situated in their sexual availability are also punished, if sometimes in different ways.)

The point is that it is a form of radical resistance to a hostile, oppressive culture when women, fat or not, do not do as they are told and do not follow the script of what is “acceptable”.

When resistance is couched in fashion, there is normally a predictable backlash: the offending women are shamed in one or both of two ways. They are either slut shamed or body shamed. In the case of the former, they are told that the way they dress makes them look whorish, and if they are assaulted, they were asking for it (this victim blaming is part of a rape culture that terrorizes women and demeans men, but let’s leave that for another day). The latter preys on the anxieties inculcated by a predatory capitalism and the patriarchy about the “necessity” of being always attractive, and manifests, usually, as an attack on the woman’s body shape and weight: “You’re too fat to wear ______.” Consider the narrative around skinny jeans, for instance, and then check out this post from Natalie Perkins over at www.definatalie.com for an excellent example of resistance - shaming - and, happily, another round of resistance.

So in summation, those Australian feminists were wrankled because in general, attempts to control things like women choosing to wear tights as pants are actually merely attempts to control women, through slut shaming and body shaming; to corral them back into the role of sexual object, available to men for consumption because they are behaving as the patriarchy desires, working to appear as the patriarchy desires, and also because they are literally available - willing participants in the system of sexual objectification. And fuck a bunch of that, obviously.

And yet.

I cannot shake the fact that I think wearing tights as pants is tacky. Not because it makes women look slutty, because 1) it doesn’t, necessarily, and 2) I have no problem with women looking slutty if they want to as a means of expressing their own healthy sexuality. Also, since there’s noting wrong with being a (responsible) slut if one desires, there should also be nothing wrong with being slutty. Not because some women might not “have the body for it”: I, for one, am fat as hell, and NO ONE has the right to come at me like that’s a problem, because it’s not, no matter what I do or do not have on my fat body. Just … hmm. I just don’t like it. I feel about it the way I feel about young men who wear their pants belted below their ass, so that their underwear-clad ass is exposed, purposefully, for all the world to see. I want to go up to those young men and ask them, snarkily, “Do you not understand what pants are for? Or do you just not understand how to get them to work?” I want to go up to young women wearing nothing but tights and a shirt and say the same thing. This drive is basic, comes from deep down, and is in spite of everything I know about the policing of women as discussed above.

But then I feel guilty about this - after all, what right do I have to join in the shaming chorus? None, of course, even if my motivations aren’t as evil as others’.

So I guess what I’m left with is this: I support the right of every women everywhere, regardless of body shape or size, age, or anything else, to wear tights as pants. But I don’t endorse the practice, ’cause I hate it.

Thus ends another round of “Is Sabrina a bad feminist?”

Curry In Brief

You may consider this blog a follow-up to my last, “Butter Chicken Adventures.” Last night, I tried another recipe from Camellia Panjabi’s 50 Great Curries of India. It is the recipe that fronts the main recipe section of the book, and is on a page titled “Making a Simple Homestyle Curry.” Here is the recipe as I found it:

4 tablespoons oil
1 large onion, very finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/4-inch piece of fresh ginger, chopped
3/4 teaspoon coriander powder
a pinch of tumeric powder
1/4 teaspoon cumin powder
1/4 teaspoon garam masala powder
1 teaspoon paprika powder
2 tomatoes, chopped
salt
chopped cilantro leaves for garnish

1) Heat the oil in a heavy pan. Add the onion and saute over a medium heat for about 20-25 minutes or until deep brown. Add the garlic and ginger and fry for 1 minute. Add the coriander powder and stir for another full minute. Then add the turmeric, cumin, garam masala, and paprika, and saute for 30 seconds. Add 1 cup of water and cook for 10 minutes. Put in the tomatoes, stir well, and cook for a further 5 minutes.

2) Now the curry sauce is ready. Add salt to taste. Put in … chicken, lamb, fish or vegetables. Add 1 1/2 cups of water for chicken, 2 1/2 cups for lamb, 1 cup for fish, 2 cups for vegetables. Cook until done. Sprinkle with chopped cilantro leaves just before serving.

I followed this recipe more or less exactly, except instead of fresh tomatoes I used canned. I doubled the entire recipe, so there would be leftovers, except I did not double the water at the end; I used broccoli and chickpeas as my veggies. Two thoughts: one, as with my previous curry from this book, I found - and this time, Ted also found - this dish to be underflavored. It was a good spice mix, it just wasn’t potent enough. Because of my prior experience with Camellia’s curry, I used heaping spice measurements, but this proved insufficient to combat the problem - all of the flavoring ingredients seem to need doubled (or quadrupled in my case, since I had already doubled all of the ingredients to take the dish from one meant to serve two to one meant to serve four). Two, the sauce was much too watery, something Sarah warned me might happen with the recipes in this book. I cooked off as much of the water as I could before my broccoli began to get too soft, but still - if I were to make this again, I would just omit the last addition of water altogether: the liquid in the can of tomatoes would have more than sufficed, along with the liquid that naturally bleeds off vegetables when they cook. Oh, and be forewarned: getting the onions deep brown actually took more than 30 minutes (though this might have been from my use of two onions instead of one), and required a fair amount of stirring and vigilance to prevent them from burning.

Also … y’know, it just didn’t taste like a restaurant dish.

But it wasn’t bad, and it was certainly healthy, so I’m not saying I wouldn’t recommend it per se.