Last Friday I went out with a friend to celebrate the completion of her PhD exams. Our initial plan was to check out 80's night at Lava Lounge, but when my friend—known colloquially as Snowflake—found herself with two tickets to the symphony thanks to her dapper department chair and an out-of-town conference, we decided to start off the evening at Heinz Hall.

Heinz Hall

We both found ourselves with the pressing dilemma of how to dress for the evening. Not only would we be transitioning from high culture to club culture, but considering the recent stretch of unseasonably cool temperatures—30's and 40's in mid-April make me wonder if anyone has yet coined the term Indian Winter—my go-to strategy was problematic. Ordinarily in April, I would find it incredibly easy to go from dressy to dance club—I would just wear a skirt. The skirt, you must understand, is what I wear all summer long in lieu of shorts.

Please be advised—vast numbers of people will likely find the following statement highly offensive: Almost no one looks good in shorts. Unless you're a 5'10" 120 lb 16-year-old girl, chances are, you don't look good in shorts. I have, personally, not worn shorts in public since high school. Why would I, when a knit skirt is just as comfortable and a hundred times more stylish? Skirts are not, however, without their complications. Wearing skirts in cold weather requires some breed of nylon leg covering. In college, I wore skirts all winter with opaque pantyhose until one day I finally got fed up and swore never to squeeze into a pair of pantyhose again! For those who have never had the displeasure of wearing pantyhose—for example, men who do not cross-dress or have never played Robin Hood in a school play—the experience is very much like wearing high dress socks where the elastic is a little too tight. Only, you must imagine that feeling of itchy restriction covering the entire bottom half of your body.

Leg Avenue Garters

For the past five years, I have worn slacks in the winter, and skirts only in the summer when balmy weather renders pantyhose irrelevant. That was, until I recently discovered a handy alternative. Thanks to my adventures in single womanhood, Anita Blake Vampire Hunter and Vassarette, I have discovered the wonders of garter belts. While not as comfortable as bare legs, the garter belt offers a marked reprieve from the epidermal distress of pantyhose. The first garter belt I bought was a Vassarette, the lace belt from their new mix-and-match line of hosiery. Since then, however, I ordered a Leg Avenue garter belt and found it vastly superior for practical use. The clasps fasten much more securely and are easier to maneuver, the garters have a wider range for size adjustments, and they are thankfully free of the extra garnishes of ribbon that Vassarette could not have intended for any other market than housewives on their wedding anniversaries.

Armed with my Leg Avenue garters, the solution to my wardrobe dilemma was clear. I wore a skirt and selected a pair of black fishnet thigh-high stockings. A little fancy for the symphony, a little goth for the club. Perfect! Snowflake opted for an equally clever solution involving a dexterous costume change in the front seat of her car. And so, we were ready to hit the town.

Esa-Pekka Salonen

First stop? Eight o'clock at Heinz Hall. The PSO—led by guest conductor and Oberlin grad, Michael Christie—opened with Esa-Pekka Salonen's Foreign Bodies, an uncomfortably enchanting and halfway haunting modern orchestral piece. Next was Haydn's Cello Concerto in C Major featuring guest cello soloist Lynn Harrell, whose quirky stage presence complemented a playful performance. Finally, after intermission, was Jean Sibelius's Symphony No. 2, a varied piece, both eclectic and traditional, led with inexhaustibility and aplomb by Christie.

From there, we left for the South Side, and after the usual, seemingly endless hunt for a parking space, Snowflake and I found ourselves as anticipated at the Lava Lounge for 80's night. One of the best things about Lava Lounge, I discovered, is their nightly drink specials. Friday was the Classic Martini, vodka or gin, for $4. While four dollars is by no means a bargain basement drink special—for Pittsburgh, anyway—the appeal of drink specials for me is more than just a low price. As a budget-conscious person, I'm often wary to order a martini-type drink at a bar—you never know what it's going to cost. It could be anywhere from five dollars to fifteen. Predictability of drink prices makes my evenings at the bar much more enjoyable. And so, I ended up drinking three martinis, which left me mildly hung-over for most of Saturday. Snowflake was far more prudent, switching to beer after the first martini. We were pleased with the martinis, but also with the music.

INXS: Kick

There were a lot of recognizable, danceable 80's hits, including at least two from my former favorite band, INXS—80's standard Need You Tonight and the more rarely played Don't Change. A few songs, Snowflake and I noted, verged into the 90's, including Head Like a Hole, courtesy of my current favorite band, Nine Inch Nails. At one point there was a boring stretch of songs we didn't recognize that prompted us to leave the dance floor and return to the bar—whereupon my latter two martinis were consumed. All in all, a successful transition from symphony to South Side.

Next time, on my as-yet untitled blog, find out what happened when my hangover finally wore off...