There comes a time of year when the last leaves fall from bare branches and bite of winter chill sharpens, when stressed-out college students get a long-awaited respite before the crush of finals and

Me, Neilbert and the birthday ice cream cake I made.

when families gather around the table to celebrate togetherness and family values (but not the Republican kind).

This is the time of year when my birthday happens to fall, which can sometimes really suck because... truly, can anyone think of a worse party holiday than Thanksgiving? And my birthday nearly always falls—nine times out of ten—sometime Thanksgiving week, which has historically meant one of two things. My birthday is either A) the due date of a semi-midterm paper that professors "kindly" schedule to be due before break, or B) during break itself when everyone is out of town (including sometimes me).

Pinzon Sateen Sheets

Okay, to be fair, this is not exactly a bad thing. Well, most years. There was that one year when I turned 21... on Thanksgiving day. A raucous party it was not. Then again, I was a Pitt commuter and a little lean on the college friends... Still you get my point... not the best time for partying. The solution to this dilemma is, of course, to capitalize on the inconvenience, rather than wallow in it, by declaring and encouraging belated birthday amnesty. All friends are welcome and invited to celebrate during the week following Thanksgiving break.

My parents, on the other hand, got in on the act beforehand. Not wanting to drag my gifts up to the trailer over the holiday (my birthday fell this year on the day after Thanksgiving), and also adhering to the grand family tradition of doing a nice dinner out for each of our three birthdays among the immediate family, Neilbert and Saundra took me out to the Grand Concourse the preceding Saturday—and rather appropriately for the early bird special.

Henckels Steak Knives

I have blogged about the Grand Concourse early bird special before, so I won't go into depth, but rather will say that their grilled sirloin, complete with wad-o-gorgonzola, is my new favorite steak. Gifts included an assortment of "what-nots" (Saundra's terminology) from curling irons to toothbrushes, and a few choice selections from my Amazon Wish list. No Lenox Tuscany, alas (like most wise people, Neilbert and Saundra realize I have too much of it already), but this birthday did finally fulfill one long-standing registry item, my Henkels stainless steel steak knife set. I've been using my 4-for-a-dollar, plastic-handle steak knives all this time, and so I was glad finally to get a set of steak knives worthy of my Cambridge Chop flatware... You realize, of course, when I say they're stainless steel, I mean that the handles are stainless steel? Even the dollar store knives come with stainless steel blades. Also among my wish list gifts was a Pinzon sateen sheet set. I have recently discovered the joys of sateen sheets, as they offer all the softness of satin sheets without the slippery-ness and skeezy bachelor pad charm. Pinzon, if you don't already know, is the Amazon brand of housewares, and in most cases a great way to get a good deal on quality merchandise. The sateen sheets are no exception.

Smooth at Madigans Babysitters, beware!

From there we headed north for Thanksgiving at the trailer. Notable attendees included Neilbert, Saundra, Grandma, Donbert and, well, me... and that's it. Exhaustive list. This fact did not stop Grandma from making two kinds of stuffing, potatoes and squash to accompany our turkey. Not to mention bringing a can of cranberry sauce and making two pies for dessert. This is all well and good, except that forty percent of us are on a low carb diet. I made a big tureen of mashed cauliflower for me and Saundra, and I cheated a bit by having stuffing and cranberry sauce (since I am one of the few people in the world who actually quite like cranberry sauce). I also had a small piece of pumpkin pie, an event which happens roughly ever other year. Pumpkin pie always sounds like such a good idea, but I always forget that I hate it until I have a bite. It's nothing to do with grandma's recipe, I assure you, because I've tried and feel the same about other pumpkin pies.

2 Guys Drinking Beer

The next day was my real birthday, and since we were at the trailer, I decided it would only be fitting to throw a party. We invited the whole family over to the trailer for drinks, hors d'oeurves and... pizza and wings. Yes, folks, pizza and wings. According to Neilbert and Saundra, this is the only way to get the Bert Brothers and their respective clans to show up for a party. On the more gourmet side of things I made bacon-wrapped dates and ice cream cake with a toasted almond crust—low carb restrictions or no, I have ceased to pretend or apologize over the fact that I despise cake. After dinner, my dearest cousin Smooth took me out to Ellicottville for a little bar-hopping. He's a trooper, that Smooth, a dedicated cousin who took me out despite the fact that Ellicottville—as I likely should have surmised—is not an especially hopping place before ski season. The hoppin'-est bar was Madigan's. It was their 25th anniversary celebration and their ads promised 1981 throwback prices. Did a can of Labatts and a whiskey & diet run $6.50 back in 1981? While I don't have concrete proof otherwise, I suspect we missed out on the discount. There was a DJ and some dancing, but the music was country-ish rock and the dancers were... well... many years our senior.

3 Guys Drinking Beer?

When we ran into Smooth's childhood babysitter in an advanced stage of drunkenness, it galvanized our resolve to move on to a different bar. From there we ended up at the Double Diamond. It was significantly less crowded, and absent a DJ boasted live entertainment in the form of a band called 2 Guys Drinking Beer. They sang mostly covers, nothing to object to, certainly, but they produced rather a conundrum. As it turned out, 2 Guys Drinking Beer was in fact comprised of three guys. Was this a case of one guy being a teetotaler? Or perhaps upon adding the third guy, they did not want to risk the damage a name change can do to an established band name? The conundrum persists.

Keep an eye out for further birthday fun, wherein I return from Pittsburgh and use my birthday as blackmail to guilt Sabrina into going to a dance club and... lo and behold, my extended birthday festivities nearly overlap with Neilbert's.