Sadly, sometimes revision may remove the raw edge that lifts a tale to 'memorable'.
Of course, that assumes the tale is worth reading in original, raw state. Very, very rarely has one of mine 'caught the wave' and flowed such that my revision was simultaneous and indistinguishable from composition...
The last "high fantasy" tale I attempted was like this. Each subsequent iteration was worse than the last for a variety of reasons. The main reason was my imagination was being taxed writing it, and the dialogue was a little corny here and there.
One of my shortcomings as a wannabe Writer is dialogue: I have dreadful difficulty writing dialogue that is not driven by the plot. Unless the tale is flowing, my dialogue becomes more stilted at every edit. My usual solution is to take out non-essentials, hope the evolving situation precludes small-talk...
Um, the only novel-length tale I've finished was planned as a novelette at most, then grew. I could have made it twice as long, but I was scared I would not finish, that I'd run out of words...
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