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Violanthe
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Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 5903

PostThe Coma Lights by Joshua Scribner

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 4:30 pm
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How does this opener strike you?

The coma men are there.They stand in the distant mist.But that mist is thin, so they must see him lying on the ground.They have to know that he is suffocating.He wonders why they won't help.He longs for air.

Finally, it no longer hurts to suffocate.A sense of complete tranquility rushes over him.He feels light.As if he can float away.His vision begins to blur, but he thinks he can see one of the coma men moving his way.And now he is floating.

Everything goes black.



If you've never read this book, or had no clue where the opener comes from, then how does it strike you? If you had only this opener to go on, would you read more? Does it grab you and spur you to read on? Or does it leave you unenthusiastic?

If you read the book it came from, did you remember right away or did you have to look it up? What made it so memorable - or not so memorable?

If you are interested to read on, then do a search on the opening line and tell us what it is.
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ARWZ.com: A Magazine of Alternative Reality Fiction


Last edited by Violanthe on Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Nik
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 805
Location: UK

PostD'uh...

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:39 pm
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The next dozen words had better be good, else it goes back on the shelf...
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Violanthe
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Joined: 24 Jul 2003
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Post

Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:31 pm
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I wonder what's up with the punctutation, too. I copy pasted from an online source where the punctuation was all wonky.
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Violet "Violanthe" Kane
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ARWZ.com: A Magazine of Alternative Reality Fiction
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