Features Reviews Articles Editorials Poetry Fiction Submissions Guidelines How To Online Help Contact Community Discussion Writing Forums Workshops Register Log In About ARWZ Subscribe Suppport ARWZ Advertise Author Q&A; Bookstore For Authors & Publishers Register | Log in | FAQ | Search | Memberlist | Usergroups Profile | Log in to check your private messages | Blogs | ARWZ Forum Index     > Alternative Reality Caf�   View previous topic :: View next topic Author Message Violanthe Webmaster Joined: 24 Jul 2003 Posts: 5903 The Coma Lights by Joshua Scribner Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 4:30 pm How does this opener strike you? The coma men are there.They stand in the distant mist.But that mist is thin, so they must see him lying on the ground.They have to know that he is suffocating.He wonders why they won't help.He longs for air. Finally, it no longer hurts to suffocate.A sense of complete tranquility rushes over him.He feels light.As if he can float away.His vision begins to blur, but he thinks he can see one of the coma men moving his way.And now he is floating. Everything goes black. If you've never read this book, or had no clue where the opener comes from, then how does it strike you? If you had only this opener to go on, would you read more? Does it grab you and spur you to read on? Or does it leave you unenthusiastic? If you read the book it came from, did you remember right away or did you have to look it up? What made it so memorable - or not so memorable? If you are interested to read on, then do a search on the opening line and tell us what it is. _________________ Violet "Violanthe" Kane [email protected] ARWZ.com: A Magazine of Alternative Reality Fiction Last edited by Violanthe on Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:25 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Nik Senior Member Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 805 Location: UK D'uh... Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:39 pm The next dozen words had better be good, else it goes back on the shelf... Back to top Violanthe Webmaster Joined: 24 Jul 2003 Posts: 5903 Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 4:31 pm I wonder what's up with the punctutation, too. I copy pasted from an online source where the punctuation was all wonky. _________________ Violet "Violanthe" Kane [email protected] ARWZ.com: A Magazine of Alternative Reality Fiction Back to top Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First      All times are GMT - 4 Hours Page 1 of 1   Jump to: Select a forum Discussion----------------Alternative Reality Caf�Writers' Zone Workshop----------------Workshop FAQ & RulesWorkshopSubmissionsWriting Exercises and Scene Starters ----------------The Marketplace Resources----------------FAQ & Online HelpLinks & Online ResourcesResearch Q&A;ARWZ Approved!  You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You can vote in polls in this forum Alternative Reality Web Zine: ISSN# 1559-3037 All materials on these pages (including fiction, poetry, essays, articles, interviews and opinion pieces) are copyrighted to the original authors and may not be reproduced without permission. View Page Stats   Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group