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Violanthe
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Joined: 24 Jul 2003
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PostQueen of Darkness by Anne Bishop

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 3:35 pm
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How does this opener strike you?

Dorothea SaDiablo, the High Priestess of the Territory called Hayll, slowly climbed the stairs to the large wooden platform. It was a bright morning in early autumn, and Draega, Hayll's capital, was far enough south that the days were still warm. The heavy black cloak that shrouded Dorothea's body made her sweat. Under the deep hood, her hair was damp and her neck itched. No matter. In a few minutes, she could shed the cloak.

When she reached the platform, she saw the lumpy canvas that stretched across the front, closest to the waiting crowd, and automatically began taking shallow breaths through her mouth. Foolish. She'd used every spell she knew to keep what was beneath that canvas a secret until the proper time. Forcing herself to breathe naturally, she walked across the platform, stopping a few feet behind the canvas.



If you've never read this book, or had no clue where the opener comes from, then how does it strike you? If you had only this opener to go on, would you read more? Does it grab you and spur you to read on? Or does it leave you unenthusiastic?

If you read the book it came from, did you remember right away or did you have to look it up? What made it so memorable - or not so memorable?

If you are interested to read on, then do a search on the opening line and tell us what it is.
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ARWZ.com: A Magazine of Alternative Reality Fiction


Last edited by Violanthe on Wed Sep 05, 2007 5:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chupacabra Hunter
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Joined: 21 Aug 2007
Posts: 61

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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 4:00 pm
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Huh. The writing is typically mediocre, but I'm kinda curious what's under the canvas. I fear I would be disappointed to find out though.
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Epitarc
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Joined: 18 Sep 2006
Posts: 124
Location: Over there

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Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 4:53 pm
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The first sentence kills it for me, just a little too much "oh, look, I've inventet cool names"..

But thats just me...
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Violanthe
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Joined: 24 Jul 2003
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Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 5:33 pm
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It's definitely unwieldy to have too many names, of any sort, right up front.
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Violet "Violanthe" Kane
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ARWZ.com: A Magazine of Alternative Reality Fiction
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